Erica.Michelle.

V day Snow!! Today will be great!

2012-02-14T05:42:00.001-08:00

Video Project

2012-02-06T19:23:00.000-08:00

New Traffic Flow from Traders Point Christian Church on Vimeo.

This is a fun video our Comm team did to communicate upcoming traffic flow changes... we tried to make it fun while keeping it informative. Proud of my team - they did a great job... from the storyboard process to the hand drawn animated cars and even the traffic attendants... fun fun fun.

Indiana sky

2012-02-01T15:12:00.001-08:00

Taken at Indianapolis, Indiana

A Schraeder Coaching Network

2012-01-31T20:04:00.000-08:00

I'm beyond fortunate to be a part of Tim Schraeder's Communications Coaching Network. I cannot express how excited I am to get to know the other Comm Directors involved and learn, learn, learn. And the best news? It's practical, affordable, virtual. Nice.

Check out his site here: http://www.timschraeder.com/ And check out Outspoken book as well.

TPCC 2011 Annual Report

2012-01-30T19:35:00.000-08:00

Our Comm team of staff and volunteers hit the ball out of the park on this project. Ladies and Gentlemen I'm proud to present to you the 2011 Traders Point Christian Church Annual Report. Expect some story telling goodness. Read it here.

And here's the video the amazing worship dept did to go along with it...

Vision Drift Bumper from Traders Point Christian Church on Vimeo.

Excited to be a part of this church. Awesome vision sermon today from @ambrockett

2012-01-29T08:45:00.001-08:00

Find the sermon here.

Photo taken at Traders Point Christian Church

My Bro and Alyssa's Wedding Video - Preview!

2012-01-28T20:35:00.001-08:00

Alyssa & Mike, La Playa Hotel, Carmel-by-the-Sea from Peri Basseri on Vimeo.
The place was La Playa Carmel. The date was October 15, 2011 and it was a beautiful day indeed for Alyssa and Mike, their family and friends. This is the highlights of their big day.

Video shot by Asher Taylor and Patrick Dougherty for BigTime Video Services

Video Editing by Jayna Kersh

bigtimevid.com Monterey, California

Kylee, my amazing niece... love her!

2012-01-21T19:09:00.000-08:00

Found some old videos and thought I'd share!

Kylee's First Year http://vimeo.com/24668038

Kylee 5 months old http://vimeo.com/16494316

Happy Halloween from the Garcias http://vimeo.com/15554596

Garcias discover photo booth! http://vimeo.com/15554479

Kylee 4 months old http://vimeo.com/15494771

Office Chalkboard

2012-01-11T18:55:00.001-08:00

Uh oh. Someone has officially taken over the bed. Never thought I'd let this happen.

2012-01-09T19:46:00.001-08:00

January... already?

2012-01-05T19:16:00.000-08:00

The Christmas Season is definately behind us.

The lights are down. The trees are on the curb (or at my mom's house we fed it to the goat).

There's this decline in energy and anticipation that happens for me mid January. Probably because the holidays can be so so good and so so hard.

I'm experiencing a bit of relief and a bit of let down. I want to believe this is normal... Ah 2012 you came so fast!

Amazing Birthday Goodness! Love!

2012-01-03T20:32:00.000-08:00

2012-01-02T22:02:00.000-08:00

Love this church. . . Take a look at our 9/11 tribute from back in September.

9/11 "Beautiful Things" from Traders Point Christian Church on Vimeo.

San Fran New Years Eve

2012-01-01T20:20:00.000-08:00

New Years Eve I was walking the streets of San Jose, California with my best friend, Crystal... I mentioned to her that on the radio that day I heard about how Bart was running late because San Francisco was hosting a free fireworks show at the ferry building... we got to talking and I said "next year we have to go C!" And she looks at me and says, "Let's go tonight!!" This is why my best friend makes me so happy. She's so much more carefree and spontaneous than me... she has this sense of adventure that I envy and can't help but love.

So we walked home to her house, searched for the BART sched and away we went... to spend New Years Eve with 100,000+ other city folk.

What an amazing experience!

Such diversity, chaos and beauty... all in one night.

New Year's Gratitude

2011-12-31T21:00:00.000-08:00

I just got off the phone with my grandmother, Vivienne. I was out with a friend, but called to wish her a Happy New Year and was inspired by the life and energy I heard in her sweet voice.

She told me she was running out the door to go to "a play" that her senior center was putting on... I asked her if she was dressed up, and she said, "Oh - yes! I'm wearing this fabulous beige, orange and pink sparkly dress."

My grandmother is always the best dressed lady in the room - but she's so humble about it. She's never pierced her ears - loves clip on earrings, but forgets that she takes one off to talk on the phone and then walks around with just one earring on... She barely wears make-up but radiates and attracts people to her, right and left... but she has no idea just how incredibly beautiful she is. Ah I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

I remembered back to last New Years Eve. That morning my grandmother had heart surgery and was in recovery all day and so our family went home to rest and ring in NYE 2011. I did not have plans that night because I was so emotionally exhausted. At 11pm I had this intense feeling that I needed to go to the hospital. I immediately got in my car (almost forgot my shoes) and I drove. I walked into ICU and found my mom and my uncle sitting there in tears at my grandmother's bedside. My mom looked up and said, we all went home but for some reason I just knew we needed to come back.

I looked at my grandmother. She was pale, on breathing machines that continually beeped. The nurse greeted me then explained that she was in a coma and was bleeding internally and wasn't doing well. I felt like I was in a bad dream. She had been fine that afternoon - what changed?

I went over and talked to her - no response. Suddenly I knew I need to pray. My family is not very religious but my grandmother is a strong Christian and her and I have always connected around faith. I can remember her teaching me to play hymns on the piano at age 5. I can remember her coming to church to watch me sing when I worked at Menlo. She just loves church and so do I. We exchange verses and hand written notes of encouragement. We live on the same wavelength.

I walked over to her and laid one hand on her pale forehead, the other on her frail arm and just talked to God, begging him to spare her life, to heal her body, to allow her to walk again, to fully recover...

The next few hours were full of waiting... to the sound of the machines and noise out in the hallway. We waited... my uncle Mark, my mama and I.

The New Year rang in. The nurses cheered and gave us hats and sparkling cider... trying to make a grim situation a little bit better.

About 3 am the nurse came in and explained that she had no idea what happened, but that my grandmother suddenly began to retain her own blood. She was no longer bleeding out. She was getting better and emergency surgery was not needed.

Oh joy!!!

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and knelt down and praised our God who holds all life in the palm of His hand.

Amazing miracle.

I am forever grateful. Ah my heart does not have words for the fullness of love I have for the God that has chosen to hear my meek prayers. He is real. He is alive. He loves my family even more than I do.

So this New Years Eve as my grandmother got dressed up to go out, as I called to check in, as she resonated joy in every word... we both knew the true Joy that continues to hold us both together.

I Heart San Jose, California

2011-12-31T18:50:00.000-08:00

Kylee is 1.5 Years Old

2011-12-30T21:20:00.000-08:00

Books and Life

2011-12-27T22:15:00.001-08:00

There's something so amazing about sitting still and indulging in a good book. Preferably with a cup of coffee or tea nearby.

Every year this is a mark of rest and balance in my life at Christmas time.

Things are crazy with family and schedules, travel and traditions. I often times run around like a mad woman then feel regret for the cards I didn't write, the cookies I didn't bake and the miles I did not run. But every year I also get the opportunity to embrace loved ones, enjoy time off of work, reminisce about growing up and laughing through the memories. Every year at Christmas time I get to spend extra time reading books I love.

Honestly, I'm a bit of a book maniac. I must have a stack of over 50 next to my bed, every night I fall asleep with a few next to my head. I surround my couch and comfy chair with them, and scold my puppy when he chews them. When I was younger my parents put me on a book budget because I'd go through more than they could afford. Eventually my reading habit led me to get a job and buy as many books as I wanted. For me, books feel like old friends - such warm and comforting company.

Around Christmas there's always this defining moment when I put down the computer, the gift wrap, the remote and I pick up a book. I sit. And simply read.

Today was that day and I'm reading Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. It's a glimpse into the life of a man who worked hard, realized what matters most, and ended up changing the world through innovation and marketing. He made it to the top, was successful, wealthy and simultaneously dealing with a cancer diagnosis. He died young, just a couple years older than my parents. My mom taught his son Reed during his elementary school years. Reed is now graduating college, without his father to see him in cap and gown.

Tonight my dad got a phone call. I was sitting next to him in the living room watching ESPN and learned that one of his great friends, a former coach of a well known baseball team was really sick. I overheard his wife tell my dad, through tears, how her husband had given up hope and stopped fighting. The doctor gave him days to live, as the cancer eats away at his body. This poor woman who I have never met, brought me to tears tonight. She was desperate, bracing herself for the inevitable - watching her worst nightmare become a reality.

My dad and his girlfriend have company this Christmas. My dads girlfriend's mother has moved in, and is undergoing a round of chemotherapy at the hospital up the street. She is weak and frail, but she's fighting for her life. She's so considerate of those around her, making sure everyone is comfortable and well fed, though she's sick to her stomach and in pain most of the time. Day in, day out, she continues to fight.

Tonight I crawled into bed and picked up my Steve Jobs book with a fresh awareness of the fleeting nature of this life.

People make remarks about life being short, but sometimes I wonder if we really let that truth soak in. If we understood the numbering of our days wouldn't we choose differently? Wouldn't we live better?

No matter what we are going through, there is someone out there fighting a much harder battle. The amazing thing isn't that our battle is small, it's that we are still called to make the most out of the hours and days and memories we are given - for it's all a gift. A gift from a God who cares deeply, about how we choose to live and how we choose to love.

I think it's so wild how God sees our first and last breath, and loves us like crazy in between. He gives us the strength and courage we need to love ourselves, and in turn, let His love overflow onto others. We aren't promised easy circumstances, but we are promised that we will be loved through them.

Family Christmas Love

2011-12-24T21:03:00.000-08:00

Sharks Game for My Birthday!!

2011-12-22T18:32:00.000-08:00

Embracing Change, Embracing God

2011-12-17T12:54:00.000-08:00

Before I left California a sweet friend of mine, Nancy prayed over me. We were sitting in her backyard enjoying a warm summer day, basking in the sun by the pool, watching her new yellow labrador retriever puppy Baxter stumble around the yard. We'd Oooh and awe at his cute little frame and the way he'd try to jump and run, only to fall all over himself. He had a huge yard to explore and much to keep him busy - it was evident that he forgot that us "humans" had his back, leading him and guiding him in the areas of the yard that were safe and appropriate for Sir puppyness to travel into.

It got quiet for a moment, Nance looked at me and said, "Erica, when you get there... work as hard as you normally do. In fact, you may need to work extra hard the first six months to get things up and running, but I want you to mark your six month date on the calendar. From that day on, you need to be really careful with your time. Do not over work yourself. Do not burn out. Put your relationship with God first and all else will fall into place. You are great at what you do. Let this be a beautiful experience for you. Also, be sure that you lean into your relationship with God. Cling to him girl. He has a deep purpose for your life, and for your move to Indianapolis. Dig deep into your faith and allow him to carry you in this new season. I'm so proud of you."

Those were her exact words. I remember them so clearly. It was a moment I'll never forget.

Here I am, about four months in. I've learned so much. I've had moments of joy and moments of homesickness. I've fallen in love with my job and my new church, and most importantly I've fallen back in love with Jesus. It's wild how the last few years I've allowed ministry activity and tasks to crowd out my need and longing for God. It's really sad that I've wandered so far from God during seasons where I've worked for him, in His church!

The last four months have been full. Full of life and energy, new friends and cultural experiences (I do not like chicken dumplings). Most importantly I've experienced a renewed passion and heart for God which has reminded me of the sweet reason I'm here on this earth.

By discovering more of the woman I'm wired to be, I'm finding ever increasing freedom and peace. I'm finally feeling comfortable in my own skin. It's a beautiful thing. In a couple weeks I'll turn 29. I've been doing a lot of reflecting... 28 was a hard year. I walked through my grandmother's heart surgery, broke up with my first love, navigated challenging family dynamics, faced unemployment and financial stress, struggled through my own health issues, trained an unruly puppy, not to mention I moved 2300 miles away from all that was familiar. So much change. So much growth.

As I think through all the markers of the past year I'm reminded of God's extreme faithfulness and His relentless love for me. He has taken care of me at every point, even when my faith was weak. He's the one constant in my life, and He's placed the most amazing friends and family around me. Loved ones have held me up during times when I could not stand. Through tears, through smiles, through sleepless nights and days of rest, I am forever grateful to my community.

The truth is, I am similar to Nancy's puppy. I have so much to be grateful for and I live in a place of beauty and provision. There are times I think I'm such a big deal, but really I'm just a little kid... stumbling around a vast land... looking for new adventures.. without realizing that I have all I need to thrive. My God and my community look out for me, teaching me all I need to know to be okay. I'm more than okay. I'm thriving, through the ups and downs of life, embracing each day and each experience. That's a beautiful thing.

San Jose Shark Love

2011-12-14T11:05:00.001-08:00

Oh my goodness. This made my day!!!

Staying warm... and fashionable

2011-12-11T14:40:00.001-08:00

The midwest winter has brought cold temps. So far Mar and I are doing just fine with it... and I'm loving the opportunity to expand my winter wardrobe and accessories! I wear scarves all the time... Found this video on my friend Linda's Blog and thought I'd share! Stay warm wherever you are :)

2011-12-02T20:35:00.001-08:00

Feeling inspired after a few days spent at Granger with other Church Communications Directors from all around the country. Kem's coaching network rocks! Now I'm an alumni and a huge fan.http://kemmeyer.com/2011/11/new-communications-coaching-group-starts-in-march/

First Snow

2011-12-01T18:58:00.001-08:00

We got our first snow this week. It was a sweet surprise and Marleau and I had so much fun as we watched it fall and then went on a walk in it. Every time it'd start snowing, or sticking I'd have a handful of co-workers run into my office to tell me so I could ditch my meetings and go out front and play in it :) I felt like I was in living a snowglobe. Indy peeps are so used to it that they don't know life without snow. They said I'll get sick of it fast, but so far I just love it. Snowfall is the most peaceful thing... I love watching it come down. We are learning a lot from the locals here... last week I learned how to drive in snow, how to scrape my windshield, and even how to pick out the warmest north face jacket ever (it's super cute). Life is good and we are grateful. So many new friends and relationships. Hoosiers are the nicest people on earth! Happy winter :)

Let's go... Cow Tipping!

2011-11-29T19:08:00.000-08:00

I've always wanted to tip a cow... this season we are in a cow tipping sermon series and we've had a lot of fun with the content and coming up with creative ways to get the message across. Check out Aaron and Jake's recent Cow Tipping sermons here: http://www.tpcc.org/series/cow-tipping/

Happy 2nd Halloween

2011-10-31T21:22:00.000-07:00

Awe. My sweet Kylee Ann was an angel for Halloween. I can't wait to see her next! She amazing me and my heart fills with warmth and my eyes tear up as I see these photos of her and know that I'm so far away. I trust that she will still know that I love her more than life itself. Man I never thought I could love like this. She is the world to me. Kylee Ann I hope you had a great Halloween!! Your Auntie E LOVES YOU PRINCESS!

Love This Place

2011-10-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

Man we are on a rampage at TPCC this fall. We are talking about so many ways we can get involved and help vulnerable children. Love it. The Step In Emphasis talks about how we can Step In to the lives of those in need and mentor, donate, adopt/foster and sponsor. We've provided shoes for children in Kenya, mentored local students, sponsored children in need, talked about orphan care and even started a church ministry to assist families as they enter into the adoption/foster process.

My Brother's Beautiful Wedding

2011-10-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

View all images here: http://ericagarcia.smugmug.com/

Garcia Wedding

2011-10-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

This past weekend my brother married the love of his life, Alyssa Giraudo.They are so in love and it was so sweet to be a part of their special day and see our two families come together. Not to mention getting to see my sweet niece after two months of me living out of the area.

When I first saw my niece Kylee I yelled at her across the hotel garden, "What do you think you're doing!?!" I said. She turned, looked at me, smiled, screamed and ran towards me. I was amazed that she recognized me after two months of not seeing me, (well except on skype - she must think I live in the computer). In the last two months she's learned how to "shake her booty" and she even said "Auntie" this weekend. Priceless moments. She steals my heart over and over again. Love her.

So back to the wedding recap... Basically I cried a lot this weekend. Tears of joy and tears of pride in who my little brother has become. He is one of the strongest people I know. He has trekked through this life and worked so hard for what he has. He doesn't let a thing stand in his way. He conquers challenges, perseveres and faithfully takes care of those he loves. He is so mindful of each day being a gift and does not take the time he's given on Earth for granted.

This weekend our family reminisced about all the stories we lived through growing up. There were moments I was laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe.

And of course, I felt like I was in my happy place all throughout the wedding day. A full weekend surrounded by all the people I love and know the most. It was absolutely intoxicating.

There were neighbors we grew up with on Garnet street, all my guy friends from High School that my bro played softball with at Burton Park back in the day... there were extended family members and of course my sweet grandma Vivienne was there, looking stunning in her pleated gray dress and fur jacket. The full Giraudo crew was there and the wedding party was just a blast to be a part of. It was simply amazing.

The day was perfect - filled with love and joy, laughter and dancing... there was so much dancing that guests had no idea dessert was served because they were all out on the dance floor! And of course I was in my happy photography space taking pictures every chance I saw.

Everything just came together and I didn't want the night to end. So what did I do? I joined the Rivera family and went out and celebrated some more!

Posted below you will find a copy of the speech I gave at the rehearsal dinner and a few pics I've stolen from friends off of facebook (Thank you Bev, Megan, Kacey, Kelley and everyone else posting pics). I'm in route to Indy right now and my photo editing software is not with me at the moment. I will post my pics later this week once I'm back in the land of corn fields and Colts fans :)
____________
Today when I was flying here i saw a sister and brother at the airport. They were fighting and pushing each other. I couldn't help but think of you and remember back to when we were young.
.........
Michael Gary Garcia, it has been a joy and an honor to walk this earth as your sister. You have been a best friend, a confidant, and a partner in crime.

I remember days of going to our babysitter Lizzies house. She'd walk us over to Saint Pius Catholic Church and you were so cute with your bowl haircutthat mom gave you- (yes she actually used a bowl on top of your head and cut around it)... But it was so sweet when you'd kneel at a row of pews before going in to pray. You'd get so excited to light a candle for the sick. I'm not sure if the excitement was for the prayer or the fire. Rumor had it around town was that you had a fascination with fire.

Now, we didn't always get along when we were young...

You were always trying to beat me up and I was always trying to manipulate situations so you'd get in trouble and I'd get away with zero punishment. It was fun.

During one fight, I distinctly remember you trying to bust down my bedroom door with your remote control car... My bedroom door was dented even up until the day we sold that Garnet house.

Then I remember in high school when something changed between us and we suddenly got along.

Or maybe I just got my license and you wanted rides, I'm not sure.

But what I am sure about is how thankful I am that we chose to become friends.

I remember our late night talks, talking about friends and high school life. I remember cutting class to bring you donuts and milk while you were in Miss Mercani's class at Sequoia High School.

We'd drive to school at the speed of light in my green Jetta and get there just in time for the last bell to ring... Oh and of course I remember getting those older friends of mine to protect you as a freshman walking through hells corner at Sequoia High School.

It was a season of life that I'll forever be grateful for.

After college I was so excited to move back up to the bay area to be closer to you and our family. I remember the first weekend I moved home and we drove to the coffee house, and then up to the snow on top of Skyline with Kenza, our dog. We couldn't believe that there was snow so close to home. It felt like such a fun and simple adventure and there was nowhere else I would have rather been or anyone else I wanted to hang out with that day but you.
........
So as I saw that girl fighting with her little brother today at the airport I thought upon all those memories and realized that somewhere in the midst of them we grew up.

Bro, I am so incredibly proud of you. You are such a faithful, loyal, talented, and hard working man. You've always been so carefree and adventurous. You truly live life to the fullest and you've learned to not take a single day for granted.

Alyssa, I knew from the day Michael first told me about you that he was love struck!

He told me he loved how down to earth you were and that your just so easy to be around. He said he could 100% be himself with you and that was different than any other girl he had dated. He talked about your family and how much he loved being included in it.

He even told me the story of him pushing you into the pool after you had just straightened your hair and how mad you got (which I would be too). Then he told me that he felt bad about that. I knew then that there was something different about his feelings for you if he's caring so much and felt so bad for upsetting you.

And now you have a beautiful family. Michael and Alyssa, it is such a joy to be a part of your life and see the love that you share be poured into Kylee.

It was such an honor to see her take her first breath and watch her take her first steps. I love you guys and I will always be here for you.

I look forward to the future and all that is to come!

Please raise your glass to celebrate Michael and Alyssa!

Cheers!

Wedding Book

2011-10-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

love blurb.com http://www.blurb.com/ made a book of my bro's wedding photos... it's awesome.

I Heart Indiana

2011-10-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

Oh my. I know that I have not been keeping up with my blog. I write blog posts in the back of my mind then neglect the paper and pen. I've just been so busy and life has been so full.

I absolutely love my job. The people, the challenges, the pace... it's so "me." I have such a sweet sense of calling and I experience so much joy through my work.

I've enjoy spending my free time outdoors with new friends, with my puppy and on "adventures," exploring a new state, a new culture, a new everything... The newness of my life and my recent changes has reminded me of the newness of God and the fresh beginnings He offers us. He truly is the only One who does not change.

My home is beautiful! It's finally unpacked and beautifully decorated in teals and greens. I'm so grateful for the comfy atmosphere, my favorite chair and my big screen HD TV :) It has truly been my place of rest and refuge as change surrounds me.

The most breathtaking Indiana sight I've seen has been the changing leaves. Oh my. I stand in awe of the colors and the scenery. Sometimes I forget to look at the road when I'm driving becauase I'm so in awe of the trees on the side of the road. Uh oh.

I've gotten out and about and have taken a few shots.
Thought I'd share them here:

Marleau at the dog park... his favorite place on Earth (above)

Breath of Life

2011-09-27T16:57:00.000-07:00

It was one of those days... where you get to the end of the day and realize you only checked one official thing off the list though you've been running around like a mad person all day trying to get stuff done.

I got home, walked over to the gym and turned on the news, as I covered a few miles on the treadmill. After the first three news stories it hit me... Life is so much more than the stuff that came across my desk today. This world is so big. I'm so quick to be consumed with myself. People around me are in deep need. People are searching for something to fulfill their insatiable desires. People are desperate for truth and life and love.

It gave me a fresh perspective of my role on this Earth. It's wild how God can meet us in the middle of an ordinary day and breathe life into us. I'm inspired, uplifted and thankful.

9/11

2011-09-13T21:59:00.000-07:00

Love this church.

Take a look at how we did a 9/11 tribute to Gungor's Beautiful Things

9/11 "Beautiful Things" from Traders Point Christian Church on Vimeo.

Dog Days

2011-09-13T20:36:00.000-07:00

6pm after work I walk into doggy daycare today. The employee says "Marleau had a big day" I say, "you mean he is tired?" employee says "haha! Does marleau EVER get tired?!" oh, mr... look at this pic. He's tired! Mission accomplished. Thank God for doggy daycare.

Adios Menlo, Hello Indy!

2011-08-08T08:48:00.000-07:00

A week full of goodbyes and see ya laters...

I'm surrounded...

2011-07-30T13:57:00.000-07:00

by boxes.

You know I've been thinking a lot lately... my mind has been spinning. There's so much change swirling around this little life of mine. I kinda like it. It's weird. I tend to be a very planned person but lately I'm taking life as it comes... chilling out a bit more... absorbing the transition. I don't feel like myself. I kinda like it.

I've been thinking a lot lately about "home." Here I am getting ready to move to a new town. A town I seriously LOVE and a job that is exciting and full of work that makes me come alive. I'm anticipating huge climate changes and experiencing "seasons" for the first time in my life. I'm looking forward to all the new photo opps I will have and all the new friends I will meet. But I'm also dreading the loneliness... the possibility of not having friends to invite over.... feeling different... feeling lost. I know these are normal fears when relocating... it just goes with it. I will get through it and I will be a better person for having gone through it.

Home is a state of being. I love feeling settled, safe, secure. The moment I get home from work I put on my "comfy" clothes... when people come over I make sure they have blankets and pillows and food and drink... I enjoy great design and filling my home with items that are meaningful and pretty. I love to cuddle with my puppy on my big leather couch. The leather is so worn that it sinks a bit when I sit on it. It's from my mom's barn and every time I look at it I am reminded of her. On lazy weekends I look forward to reading books and lounging in my huge pottery barn chair and letting the hours escape as I read and read and read... this is how I'd spend a quiet evening at home... all of this is "home" to me.

I've lived in so many different buildings/structures... that home isn't associated with a specific place. I truly believe I can thrive anywhere. Flourishing and living a full life is about who you are and who you strive to be and taking action to make decisions that reflect this. It's about the state of your heart, not your zip code. I used to fear moving somewhere else. I used to fear relocating because I didn't feel strong enough to tolerate the change. Now I'm so open to it that I'm actually doing it. It's crazy how God changes us and refocuses our lenses.

I'm so thankful my best friend is driving out to Indy with my pup and I. I'm so thankful that in a couple weeks I will feel "settled, safe and secure" in a new dwelling. In a new town. But with the same heart, the same soul and the same outlook on life. This will be a good change.... there are just growing pains in the process. There's a time to be productive and a time to rest and this season has been full of hope and rest.

But my reality right now is full of boxes, bubble wrap, and packing tape.

Everything I own is in a box somewhere and it feels weird. It feels like I could live simply. I could live with so much less than I have. My possessions are just "stuff" but what matters most is how I spend the time I have left here in the bay area. It matters that I see my friends and family members and soak them in. It matters that I take the time to allow others to pray over me and cook for me and love on me.... because there will be days in the future that I long for those moments and miss them. I will not regret how I chose to spend the last of my days in California.

Same girl.... New Town

2011-07-25T18:47:00.000-07:00

Ah I found the cutest moving postcards today on tiny prints. I can't wait til they arrive! They are so cute that I ordered matching address labels... it's the simple things in life, hu? :)

Bridal Shower

2011-07-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

Today we celebrated Alyssa at her bridal shower. It was a great afternoon of love and laughter.

Decor

2011-07-23T23:35:00.000-07:00

Ah I'm decorating a new space. I'm in my happy place. Yet I feel tension.

The problem is that it's new construction (literally still being built). It doesn't have much character so I have to infuse the character into the space. I'm struggling in terms of decor. The granite counter tops and 9 foot ceilings are so different than my rustic Menlo Park cottage. I'm trying to re-adjust my design frame. I'm thinking through the best way to make my new house a "home."

Many of you know how I'm wired for hospitality. I'm happy when my home is full. I think about 10 friends have keys to my house right now. There are days I come home from work and have multiple people in my space cooking and hanging out... I love those days. They are my fav. God has given me a home so that it would be used to host others. I love it.

It's weird thinking that I don't have more than 10 friends in Indy. It's weird to think that I will feel lonely as I move across the country on my own and embark on a new God given journey. I'm so excited for all the adventure this brings, yet I'm nervous to have an empty house. Not because I hate silence... I love it. But because I believe I have a home for the purpose of filling it with people and laughter and love. I hope and pray that I quickly make deep friends and that I can tackle my dreams and chase after what God is doing in my heart and of course in the process of all of this I want to have a beautifully designed "full house."

Fun day at the Park

2011-07-23T21:33:00.000-07:00

We spent the afternoon in the East Bay celebrating Sofia's first year of life. Fun Alice in Wonderland theme and amazing authentic Mexican food. Doesn't get much better than that. I'm preparing to leave my niece in a few weeks. Soaking up every kiss... every smile... every hug I can get from that pretty little girl. She warms my heart.

Marleau Discovers the Pacific Ocean

2011-07-22T21:56:00.000-07:00

Took Mar to the beach for the first time today. He couldn't get enough. He was in heaven. I love this dog.

Indy Love

2011-07-19T13:53:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here in my new office at Traders Point listening to the Communications team laugh and the worship team practice in the Sanctuary. "I'll never know how much it cost to see my sin upon that cross...." they sing... working on the raw melodies and harmonies... I think... "how amazing that I'm here. I'm so happy to be here."

I feel the utmost peace and gratitude. Peace about decisions I've made and gratitude about how God has brought me here... to a solid place of blessing and strength.

A place where I get to be myself and use my gifts and skill set in a way that brings fulfillment and meaning.

Struggling to Breathe
The last six months have been hard. The hardest of my life. I don't have words to describe that time. It felt like a dark cloud trailing me as I walked aimlessly through my life. It kept raining on me as I encountered situation after situation. Family and friends were the crutch that got me through. Jesus was my only hope, yet I did not feel hopeful. I felt quiet. I felt alone. I felt unsure about some of the choices I had made in my life leading up to this season. I felt heartbroken. I felt let down.

Not to mention how shaky I felt about my call to ministry.

I second guessed God, I second guessed myself. I was an official mess.

During this time my asthma acted up and there were long moments where I couldn't seem to catch a breath. Sleepless nights of coughing and wheezing. I was terrified. I had no control (and no healthcare). Looking back now I see that it was also the perfect illustration of how I felt deep inside.

Coming Back to Myself
It was late one night. I was awake searching for work. (Being unemployed is horrible, by the way - but that's another blog post). As I searched for marketing jobs at start-up companies I felt prompted to sit back away from my computer's keyboard and be quiet. Be still. In this moment I felt a loud question come into my soul. "E, what do you WANT to do?" I felt surprised by it. Wait, I thought I didn't get to choose, I thought I had to take what I could get. I was unemployed after all. I was supposed to fit myself into a role, not the other way around.

I realized that I love church communications. I loved it a few years ago and I love it even more now.

There are days that I long to be back in church life. As the hub of the events and programs, minsitry consulting and writing content - on a team of creatives, working on projects and stories that impact others. There are days I remember how hard it was - the nights I'd be up late working on deadlines or the evenings I'd wander home feeling discouraged and unappreciated. But then I remember the many moments of Comm victory where we produced a successful project and watched others enjoy it. That was the best, and made up for those few hard days.

Sitting with this realization for a short moment, I did an Internet search on large to mid size American churches with a Communications department. I was willing to go anywhere God was moving. Anywhere that would open a Communications position where I felt I could succeed and contribute to the overall strategy and vision of the church. Anywhere my heart beat faster and I felt drawn and compelled to serve and lead. Somewhere different than where I had been before.

I found a few churches who met the criteria. Traders Point Christian Church had an opening for a Communications Director. I went to their website and thought "now this is something I could jump on board with." I applied. They called me the next morning. They called the week after that and the week after that. I thought nothing of it. After all, it's located in Indianapolis, Indiana! Where is that? I dunno.

About a month or two into the interview process I began to notice how much I enjoyed our phone conversations. That half hour call would run an hour then an hour and a half. The chemistry was like none I've ever felt. I was meant to be a part of this team. I was meant to serve in this church. It was freaking me out. I told no one.

Then they asked to fly me out. I enjoyed my time in Indianapolis and knew it was the right fit. I fell in love with the people, the hospitality, the laughter, the lifestyle. I met the Communications team and instantly recognized how brilliant each member is. Skilled in their particular field. It was a great picture of collaboration and competency. This would be my team? Oh wow. They are on it!

My references talked to Traders Point and every one of them raved about the staff and the interactions they had. I did hours of research on this church. I talked to Exec staff members online and offline about every single one of my concerns and questions - openly and honestly. I talked to ministry leaders, elders and their families. I talked to strangers in the airport and on the plane. Everyone had great things to say about Traders Point. Wow.

Traders Point's most pressing issue is managing the intense growth they've seen. In three years the congregation has grown from 1500 to 3500. Can you imagine? A church having growth as it's biggest issue? Oh my.

When I got onsite I understood why. The spirit of God is here. It's sweet. It's fresh. It's wild. People serve because they want to, not because they feel obligated. Congregants are real and raw. Authenticity runs in the DNA of this place. Life stories are told on a daily basis. They are fuel for the journey. The church is 178 years old. There are elders who have served for years and years and years and they welcome young people and want them to lead and serve alongside them. They welcome change. Generations don't matter here. Young and old are valued equally. Men and women are valued equally.

When they offered me the job I screamed. I was so happy. I had perfect peace. For the first time in a long time.

I had hope. I have hope.

Now here I am. I have a beautiful place to live (and decorate!) and a plan of how to move myself across the country. I have the first roots of community here and I'm getting ready to say goodbye to my long rooted community at home. It's a bittersweet season but I know I'm exactly where I am supposed to be. There is joy in that. There is celebration in that. But there's grief in it too - there's a sadness that things will never be as they were. Things will not stay the same.

Embracing change
Nothing stays the same. People are never the same. Places change. Societies change. People relocate, friendships grow or wither and life goes on.Why do we fight so hard against change? We all react to it in different ways. It's time to embrace change.

I will miss my niece and my grandmother the most.
Little Kylee Ann has grown so fast! She's walking and talking. Right when she's learning how to say Auntie e! I'm moving. I have to trust her to God. I have to trust that she will be okay and that her and I will still have an important connection - a sweet relationship as she grows. Girlfriend is gonna learn how to skype!

Vivienne. My grandmother Vivienne is the most beautiful person on this Earth. Her grace and dignity is like none I've ever seen. Her tenderness and strength is remarkable. She cried when I told her I was moving. I cried too. Her time is limited but I vow to make it back to see her as often as possible. I love her more than my words can say. She raised me. She continues to raise me. I only hope I can grow to be half the woman she is. There is none like Vivienne.

Thankful.
I'm grateful and humbled to embark on a new season of life. A new adventure. A slower pace of life and a job I truly love. And of course I'm so excited to take photos of a new state. Can't wait to show all you Californians just how beautiful Indianapolis is (please remind me of this when I'm snowed in and freezing).

K well worship practice is over and I have a full to-do list in front of me. Gotta run. -e

Sofia is One and Colin is a big brother

2011-07-07T22:35:00.000-07:00

Love this sermon

2011-07-04T19:32:00.000-07:00

Take This Job and Love It. Ah this totally speaks to me as I'm in a season of job transition.

"My job and responsibilities are an act of worship and a partnership with God as he accomplishes his purposes in this world." Tozer

I love the use of the word "partnership."And this reciprocal relationship between work and worship has been so true in my life. I believe our work changes us as we impact our work.

I'm also reminded of Nancy's sermon "Jesus and Your Job." It's a great one. Check it out.

My Niece is 13 months old!

2011-07-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

Communications Director Redefined

2011-07-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I love reading Kem Meyers blog. She's the Director of Communications at Granger Community Church in Indiana. It's often that I read through Kem's writings and think "Wow, she gets it!" She has a gift for putting words to the aspects of my profession that I struggle to name or put words around.

In an her blog post as a follow up to a MinistryCom event she redefines the "Communications Director." I love the way she describes this as an advocate role. Even in her first line, "Protect the audience from bad experiences in print and media touch points." That sounds so refreshing and human. I've heard other communicators convey this by stating that we "make sure the worship and communication departments don't mess up text, grammar or design to the point where it reflects poorly on the staff and distracts others from worship." Do you see the contrast there? Instead of defending against potential attack or criticism the work becomes more about setting up our staff, elders, and congregants for success by working to the best of our ability to create a space of grace where a seamless connection with God and others is reinforced and encouraged. I love the idea of moving the role from that of defense to one of advocacy and development. So often it can feel that we are on the defense when it comes to unhappy people and the complaints we may hear. We have to remember that those situations are rare and day in day out we are all working for the same cause.

Consumer Advocate (formally known as Communications Director)

Green are Kem's words. Black are mine.

Protect the audience from bad experiences in print and media touch points.

This requires knowledge of print and media as well as good judgement and advocacy.

Identify barriers to entry and remove them.

This requires a heart for outreach and the ability to step back and view systems at a 30,000 foot level while putting a plan in place for implementation.

Work on behalf of the audience to uncover their needs and make it easy to find next steps to meet them. Connecting needs with resources is a key underlying task. Communications tends to be the hub of the church, the communications leader should always have a good reading on the pulse of the congregation, elders and leadership as well as the activities and initiatives happening from week to week on campus and in the community. I've seen this done well and not so well. When it's a clear and simple process and leaders are empowered to lead, it works.

Develop strategies and tactics needed to build internal support for a new approach. You can't just be a dreamer - you must be able to think through all aspects of a communication plan and execute in a way that is smart and efficient. This requires embracing innovation and consistently asking why we are doing what we are doing, is it working, what can we be doing differently? What are other churches doing? Then taking the answers to those questions and developing a plan of action.

We went through this at Menlo where we had so much that had to be done in Communications and our staff team of four people could not get it all done. We had to let some things go and focus in on others. We also redesigned the process for all event publicity requests and asked the administrators and department leaders to be the flood gates and have all requests be submitted through their department admin to the communication department. This put more work on the administrators but it provided clarity for the department in terms of what was priority and what was not. The administrator could rank those priorities and then pass it on to the Comm team. In turn we asked the administrators "if you could have one thing to improve your work flow and make your job easier what would it be?" Almost all of them said that they'd like one central place for all communications information to be stored and shared. We thought this was brilliant and our team designed and rolled out a user friendly intranet (internal password protected network) with administrators in mind. This made a world of difference and built a new approach that was more efficient for all parties involved. It was a win - win.

Employ the time-tested tools of research, media (online and off) and word of mouth to deliver consistent, trustworthy experiences across the organization. Learn, learn, learn. We should not only be learning on our own, but as a team. I'd say not only "employ" but "enjoy the time-tested tools of research, media...." We should be natural learners, encouraging growth in our team members specific to their trade. Whether it's a graphic designer starting a new networking group on flickr or a project manager calling a fellow manager to learn best practices - we should be advancing our teams in thought and spinning their minds daily, with the goal of raising the bar and improving the skill set and character of our team members and using avenues of community and multimedia to draw more people into the pews.

Develop processes that help cut through the clutter to deliver what the audience needs to hear, not the information we have to share. This is a big one for church communicators. Often times we have the task of "staying neutral" and carrying a "churchwide perspective." I've met ministry leaders who have over and over again told me that their ministry is the most important one in the church and deserves to be promoted most (ex. pulpit announcement weekly and a print insert and a front spot on the website and a write up in the newsletter). Communication teams must design internal processes to not only collect publicity requests but to have a clear way of filtering and prioritizing these requests to align with organizational goals. I used to work for Nancy Ortberg, a speaker, author and leadership consultant. She'd often remind me that saying no more often than saying yes is healthy. I believe in church comm a strong decision maker must stand at the flood gates and not fear saying "no" more than saying "yes." For the sake of clarity and simplicity for the person sitting in the pew. Advocacy.

Help people get connected to resources and each other without going through a middleman. Part of the beauty of church comm is the fact that we get to use print and multimedia to direct people to take ownership of their schedules and their participation in church involvement. We direct them towards the program and allow them to make the choice to get themselves there.

Eliminate unfair information overload. How many times have you walked out of a church service feeling overwhelmed and bombarded by print collateral, multimedia slides, individual announcements and pleas for your service? We can collaborate with media and worship teams to guard against this and help to provide a consistent message for each Sunday morning experience we support. Tie in the mission opportunity announcements with the sermon theme, organize the bulletin using subtitles or key words to show various categories and streamline the getting connected process.

Qualified applicants are in touch with audience and management context simultaneously and have the ability to convey different visions to both. This is what wrecked worship for me. It sounds disastrous but it's actually been quite helpful. I no longer sit in a church on a Sunday to solely focus on my spiritual self. I now analyze the print materials, font choice, tone of voice for written and spoken word, text size and graphics, timing of slides, announcement and sermon bumper videos, consistency in brand and vision.... I could go on. I'm also concerned with the lighting and temperature of the room, if the Pastor has a bottle of water or not, and the props and images used to convey sermon points. I fought this for a long time. Finally I learned to embrace it. I'm gifted and passionate about communications and worship elements it only makes sense that fighting this will just serve to exhaust me and confuse me about the way I'm wired. The things I notice are not bad, they just get my mind spinning and encourage me to think outside the box professionally. Yet I can still leave the service with the sermon points in my head and ponder them throughout the week. I have also learned to supplement my Sunday morning experience with long distance outdoor runs while praying and time spent serving others... other spiritual disciplines to get my mind and my heart pondering the greatness of God. I think this tension also shows that we are not only in touch with the congregation, but the leadership of the church as well and we have helped to communicate visions to both populations. We help to bridge the gap.

Sunday morning worship is where much of our weekly communication work comes together and we get to watch others experience what we have contributed to. It's a gift yet it can feel hard when things aren't perfect. Others may not notice imperfection but we sure do. We must remember to leave the critical spirit at the door. God does not require perfection in order for lives to change. In fact he requires the opposite and He does not need us at all. It's a gift that we get to contribute to a holy experience. It's when we focus so much on ourselves that we lose sight of Him. Our perfectionist spirits can be the road block to our professional advancement. God will not let our pride keep us from Him. I'm preaching to the choir here as I struggle big time with wanting everything to be perfect.Though the times I've seen Him move greatly have been times where I've messed up and clearly did not have it all together.

We also must not require ourselves to be expected to completely turn off the recognition that it's our work place as well as our church body. There's a fine line. Post service we will evaluate the communication experiences and as we see gaps and disconnects we are propelled into our work week where we tackle and raise those issues. It's what I love most about church communications - increasing the consistency and ease of Sunday morning gatherings.

Enthusiasm for their work is obvious and contagious. Who wants to volunteer for a dreary team, an under challenged or burnt out ministry leader or a meaningless task? To keep the team in a healthy place it is necessary for team members to be positive and influential about their work, seeing it from the lens of multiple recipients. There are two concepts here. One is that a team who looks at the glass as half full will naturally create momentum around their projects and attract others to help out. The second is the art of Woo "Winning Others Over." It comes naturally to some and must be learned by others. When you're in a room with a mix group of people take a look around and see if you can point out those who have Woo. They naturally motivate people and draw people to projects and causes. Daniel Decker writes a great post around practicing the art of Woo and using it to sway an audience.

Candidates for this position should have a good working network of relevant professionals; writers, designers, creative directors, developers, production managers, etc. Networking is crucial in the world of Communications. Often times we are pressed on deadlines and want to work with flexible yet detail oriented people. Find them ahead of time. It takes time and energy to build up a mixed network of specialized trades, from printers to designers and video producers, project managers, data analyzers, web contractors, administrators and educators. This must be an intentional practice. You must make time for people and be willing to pull out their strengths. Look inside your congregation as well as out in the business world. Once these teams are set in place and working relationships are formed you will see an immediate impact.

Solitude

2011-06-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

I've played the piano since I was 5 years old. My grandma Vivienne taught me and practiced with me every day as I grew up. She also paid for private lessons for me all through elementary and middle school. When I was 11 years old I bought my first baby grand piano. My mom said that if I saved an amount she'd match it. I saved over $1500 by doing odd jobs and babysitting which meant I had $3000 to spend on my new piano. My mom was shocked.The moment I saw this piano I knew it would be mine. The shiny brown wood and the real ivory keys just drove me crazy. The sound was breath taking. I still have that piano and will never get rid of it. I'd sleep under it every night if I could.

David Nevue is one of my favorite composers. His stuff just makes me so happy... I can feel peace and joy seeping out of his melodies and harmonies. Today I saw this video of his posted on Facebook. It's full of video shots of Lake Alexandrina in New Zealand and features David's song "Solitude."

Home is...

2011-06-19T23:12:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning excited to celebrate my dad for fathers day. I had a rush of memories flood through me. I did a visual walk through the home I grew up in. I loved that house. The "Garnet House" was the home I came home to after being born at Sequoia Hospital in January of 1983 (and of course my gem stone for my birthday month was "Garnet"). My parents had just bought it a few years before and it was a cute little one story three bedroom starter home. It was decorated in lots of blue and lots of country duck wallpaper (don't ask).

When I was in middle school we added a second story on that house and it became a four bedroom home full of love and hospitality. I remember our house being the one where all my friends hung out day and night. There was always a batch of fresh made cookies and costco gummy bears on the counter. We had so many sleepovers in that big family room downstairs and many nights "camping" in the backyard... but we'd only last an hour or so before getting scared and running inside to sleep in our own beds. My brother and I used to "take turns" sleeping on the floor of each other's bedroom because we were best friends and wanted to be together. I had a deep fear of spiders and anytime there was one in my room I'd yell "MIKAL!!!!" and Michael would come running in to save the day and kill that spider. I'd sleep on the floor of his bedroom for a few nights after that.We hosted so many parties in that house. I remember my high school graduation party. It was the best. House was full of family, friends and neighbors laughing, eating and celebrating. I went off to college the next day and I remember feeling so much loss and grief about no longer living in the "Garnet House." When I was in college my parents got divorced and the Garnet House was sold. I cried for hours about losing that house. I thought home was where family was... but it turns out that home is anywhere your family is. Scattered about or centered in one stable location. Home is a state of being, a way to feel safe and secure... it's when your surrounded by people who know you better than you know yourself... and love you regardless.

So this morning as I got lost in memory lane I realized that the basketball hoop was the most significant part of the house to me. When I entered middle school my dad searched for months for the perfect basketball hoop for me. It had a bright red square painted onto the fiberglass backboard and the most perfect sturdy white net. He hung it on our garage and it's still there to this day. No matter how busy the day was, my dad would play basketball with me every single night during my middle school and high school years. We called it "shootin hoops" and we both knew it was "our time." Time to connect and play, time to improve our skills and challenge each other. I know it sounds so Father of the Bride cheesy but it's true. Magic happened on that basketball court and I felt completely myself every time we played. And for a middle/ high schooler that says a lot.

Growing up, my dad and I had an interesting relationship. It truly changed with the seasons. When I was small he was my hero and I wouldn't leave his side. I was for sure a daddy's girl then as I become a teenager there wasn't much we connected on... and that's how it was through and after college, but this past year we have grown closer than ever. It felt really unexpected and totally right. We now hang out once a week, pray for each other, and text often. I'm so thankful for the healing and closeness we have found. I'm so thankful I have a dad present in my life. I love him.

Happy Fathers day to all those amazing dads out there.

Above: Garnet House

Above: My dad and I... he used to dress me up as a boy before Michael was born. He obviously wanted a son! He played on the Atlanta Braves minor league team so needless to say, we were Braves fans.

Above: My dad and I

Above: Our sweet little family

Above: Every night my little brother and I would enjoy our ice cream together.

Above: My cool shades

Above: My bro and I all dressed up. I felt so pretty in that white dress.

Above: Michael and I in our living room

Above: My mom and I at my 16th birthday. We rented a karaoke machine and had way too much fun.

Above: My dad and I chillin in Lake Tahoe

Above: Last family pic we took before the divorce. This was in the dinning room at the Garnet House.

Berta Family

2011-06-18T22:35:00.000-07:00

Great photo shoot with the Berta Family. Sweet little family with tons of joy and laughter. Love them.

More photos here

Ah-Mazing Blog Post. A Must Read.

2011-06-16T00:01:00.000-07:00

http://www.themoxyproject.com/2011/06/15/so-funny-story/

Yes you need to click that link above and read Michele Mollkoy's blog post. It changed me.

I'm in a season of change right now and her words ministered to me. Clearly. I'm smiling and feeling so encouraged right now.

Check it out. She's amazing. Oh and download her free ebook. You will be impressed! Might even fall out of your chair.

Chili Cook Off

2011-06-11T00:15:00.000-07:00

Awe how I enjoyed the fireman chili cook off last year.... and meeting drew :) The chili cook off will happen again this August 20th 2011, 11am-5pm at Central Park in San Mateo. Come by and check it out. Support the firemen and Muscular Dystrophy!

Here's Danny and Andrew on the news last year promoting the event. Fill the boot boys! Luv it "We're firemen we gotta bring the heat" ?

Please come to the 3rd Annual San Mateo City Firefighters Chili Cook Off and support your Menlo Park Firefighters with their Award Winning Chili (2009 Judge’s Award Winner and 2010 People’s Choice Award Winner) and hang out with the “Super Hero’s of Menlo Park” (2010 Best Booth Award). Proceeds from this event go to supporting the Muscular Dystrophy Association MDA.

How I miss the SLO life

2011-06-09T23:48:00.001-07:00

This movie reminds me of all the reasons I loved living in San Luis Obispo. Ahhhhh... Ocean, Mountains... college was fun :) Feels like forever ago tho!

SanLuisObispoVacations.com from Ben Potter & Drew Barefoot on Vimeo.

Marleau 9 weeks old

2011-06-08T23:06:00.000-07:00

This week was amazing. Whining is gone and now we are working on eliminating biting. My niece did pull his ears this week and he just licked her. I was so proud of his gentleness with her. We are enjoying each other more and more. It's great to wake up to him and fall asleep to his kisses. We have a routine and both love it. I think he's a J on the myers briggs... wait dogs don't have a personality type, right? :)

Oh and yes he's sporting a sharks name tag... Patrick Marleau would be proud :) Now if only the sharkies would have won the stanley cup... oh my.

What a day

2011-06-08T17:55:00.001-07:00

Wild day. My eyes are so heavy and tired I can barely keep them open. Trying to trust and believe God has his very best for my life but there are moments that can feel hard.

Some days I'm tempted to write a book of my life. I love writing.. and who knows, maybe it would help someone else in the process. Starting that book tonight.

In other news, I'm thankful for my sweet niece and getting to see her this evening. She makes everything better, love it, love it. She even took three whole steps toward me tonight... the most she's taken, ever!

Tired Eyes

2011-06-07T17:29:00.000-07:00

Busy day full of play dates and work. Nap time :)

Sweet Marleau

2011-06-05T17:26:00.000-07:00

Love this baby puppy face. This pic was when he was about 3 weeks old. Right about the time I met him and fell in love. Madly.

A year in review

2011-06-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Kylee Ann from erica garcia on Vimeo.

I made this slideshow for little lady k's first birthday party. It's long but worth the watch.

Kylee's Ready for her barnyard birthday party

2011-06-02T17:32:00.000-07:00

Marleau at 8 weeks old

2011-06-01T22:48:00.000-07:00

This past week has been full of puppy training. I've had days where I've wanted to pull my hair out and days of pure bliss, loving his cuddly nature. Here are a few snapshots. He's growing so fast! In the morning he's wild, and my job is to exhaust him (which I love)... then by the evening he's my fav cuddling buddy. So sweet.

This week we are working on eliminating the whining... we will see about that.

First Birthday

2011-06-01T00:40:00.000-07:00

Celebrated my niece's first birthday at a sweet family party. I love her so much!

(above) Kylee and my dad Mike.

(above) Kylee's new ride

(above) Kylee how old are you? ONE!?

More pictures here: http://gallery.me.com/ericagarcia#100662

Happy One Year!

2011-05-31T23:00:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe it was exactly a year ago this moment when my bro called from the hospital to tell me his baby girl was on the way. What a sleepless night! I got to the hospital bright and early June 1, 2010 with coffee and goodies for all. It was a Tuesday morning and I was missing work meetings but didn't care... There was no where in the world I'd rather be.

By 9:30am little Kylee Ann Garcia was born. I watched as she slid out and I hesitated when it took her a few seconds to cry... sheer panic shot through me. Finally she took her first breath and cried a loud fear relieving cry. I couldn't be happier. I watched as she soaked in her first glances of her parents, was checked out by the nurses and wrapped in her first swaddle of blankets. It was an emotional day, tho I did not shed a tear while watching the process. It's like all was well in the world and her arrival was a natural extension of our family. I showed up to work glowing... so excited to be a proud new auntie. So proud of my brother and Alyssa for choosing life for their baby and for sticking together and making the necessary sacrifices that new parents often make.

It's been a year... what a life changing year. Not only for Kylee who is growing way too fast but for my brother and Alyssa and all of our family members. We have been through so much... we've had conflict and pain, misunderstandings and heartache, parties and celebrations, laughter and cheering, we've had photo shoots and many toasts to all that life brings... and the way we trek through it together. This last year my bro got engaged and took a new job with the union. He went back to school to provide the best life possible for his family. . . This last year my life underwent huge changes and through it all Kylee Ann remained a ray of hope in a wild year of life. Her giggle and smile reminds me of what life is truly about. I'm excited to watch her grow and change this next year... learning to walk and talk and play. I can't wait to take her to the park and chase her around the living room.... and interact with her and hear her talk back to me. I only wish my name was easier to say :) Guess "auntie" or "e" will have to do for now.

And dare I mention that my photo gallery holds over 10,000 photos of that little child. Her auntie e is crazy. It's official. She came out with curly brown hair and now has straight sandy blonde hair... and you know I've documented the whole process as the year has gone by. At this rate I'm going to need a zillion external hard drives to hold all these kylee ann photo files! Haha. Oh my. Until the day I die I won't stop documenting and celebrating her milestones and sweet awe inspiring moments. She's such a special soul and there's just something about her that brings goodness and joy to this Earth.

Thankful. So thankful.

Above: Picture of the first moment I met her and fell in love, promising I'd always be there for her, no matter what. Such a life changing moment, not to mention such a sweet beautiful little baby!

He's home!

2011-05-25T10:31:00.000-07:00

Marleau (pronounced Mar-low) has been home for a few days now and has become quite the talk of the neighborhood. He loves playing with other dogs and I'm learning a ton about training. One of my friends from high school is actually a dog trainer. She's ah-mazing! We've been doing crate and clicker training and Marleau already knows how to sit and lay down on command. He's a smart pup and I so enjoy his kisses and snuggles. He's super loyal and follows me everywhere. Sometimes I stumble over him because he's so tiny and hard to see. I'm used to big dogs! The good news is that soon enough he will be a big dog :) After some research we think he's a german shepherd terrier mix. He has a beautiful coat and the cutest floppy ears. His eyes just melt my heart!

I snapped a few shots of him yesterday. He's such a grateful dog. I can see in his eyes him saying "thank you mom for saving me." and I say right back to him "oh dog, you have saved me more than you know. I love you."

more pics here

Newest family member

2011-05-20T21:10:00.000-07:00

Okay okay... the rumors are true.

I'm adding someone to my family. He's small and furry and we are so in love.

Little Marleau was abandoned at the young age of 2 weeks old. There wasn't room in the shelter where he was anonymously left so my mom's neighbor Doreen became his foster mother. One evening I was at the ranch and Dan, Doreen's dad brought this little love over to visit our dogs Cody and Annie. I instantly fell in love. It was magnetic. My intuition went crazy and I just "knew" I had a connection with him. Then when I heard he was abandoned and that he needed a loving home my heart jumped. I knew he was coming home with me. I took two weeks to analyze, learn and contemplate the responsibility and life change of having a puppy (no more unplanned sleepovers in the city or partying out of town.... not without puppy care!). Final decision = homeboy puppy was coming home with me... no matter the sacrifice. Let's be honest, my party days are over and I'm living in classic suburbia. So I knew he'd love living with me and that in the end all the details would work out. I even named him after my fav sharks player.

So the last few weeks I've been visiting him since he's too small to be adopted. He needs to be 7-8 weeks old to be officially out of foster care and adopted by his new mama (me!). He's grown so much in the last few weeks. He used to fall down stairs because his butt was the heaviest part of his body! It was hilarious. I went to visit him today and he immediately ran to me and wouldn't leave my side. He's already responding to training and is strong enough to get up and down stairs and venture off on his own. He makes me so happy!

He's been living on a ranch with 7+ other dogs so he's learned to play fair even though his ego is much bigger than he is (such a boy! j/k). He will love my little house because all my neighbors have pups and we have happy hour out on the lawn where the dogs all play together. Social interaction is a good thing... for both mom and pup. Speaking of my social opportunities... there has been a surge of my friends adopting puppies lately... those without children choose puppies! So Marleau already has so many puppy play dates lined up. Homeboy won't be able to handle his own social calendar. A true Garcia.

No really, on the serious side... I've been reflecting a lot lately upon my life. It feels like a mini version of eat pray love. I realize that I focus so much on caring for other people that I often neglect myself and forget to dream... to write down my goals... to think about myself and chase after what "I" want. One of my long standing dreams has been to adopt a puppy and love him like crazy all the days of his life. I'm ready to make that dream a reality and if all goes well in the years ahead, we will have a real house with real land and he will get to run through his own yard and explore. That is the plan :)

If you're looking to rescue a dog you need to talk to Doreen. She's amazing at what she does. Learn more about her here.

Keep Living Where God Is - Henri Nouwen

2011-05-20T14:47:00.000-07:00

I'm reading this amazing book titled, The Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen. Each page is full of rich thoughts that challenge my spirit daily.

Today I read about living where God is:

Your main question should always be whether something is lived with or without God. You have your own inner knowledge to answer that question. Every time you do something that comes from your needs for acceptance, affirmation, or affection, and every time you do something that makes these needs grow, you know that you are not with God. These needs will never be satisfied; they will only increase when you yield to them. But every time you do something for the glory of God, you will know God's peace in your heart and find rest there.

I've been moved by God's promise of peace and I have been unexpectidly experiencing an incredible amount of peace and contentment the last two weeks in the midst of huge transitions. It's rocking me. I tend to be a bit anxious and analytical... spiraling a thought in my head for hours just to watch it grow and invade my thoughtlife, leaving me feeling unsure, anxious and defeated.

The last two weeks God has revealed life changing truths to me... I'm a workaholic - building a career at the cost of missing out on the true goodness of life... I value people's opinions of me too much, and I long for acceptance and affirmation... I don't like unresolved conflict or situations without closure and act out of my element when I feel a lack of control... I'm too giving - to the point that I actually end up hurting myself and enabling those around me to live out unhealthy patterns... and the list goes on... It's been humbling, yet my heart and my eyes are filled with hope and gratitude. It's wild.

This week I've been thinking through the connection between God and peace. We say things like "peace on earth" and fight for "world peace." But the peace that God gives is beyond that... it's a supernatural calm. Yet to claim that calm we must choose to believe Him for our past, present and future and truly let go of our hopes and dreams and trust with all that we can... it is only through trust that we receive that perfect peace. I think that's a beautiful concept and I love that what God asks of me in return for peace is not all my money, or all my time, or all my confessions (though those are great things to give)... what he specifically asks for in return for peace is simple faith and trust.

There's child like freedom in trust and I've rediscovered it... it feels like Christmas and I've been given the best gift of all. . . because let's be honest, life is wild and storms come, but finding peace in the midst of it is the most amazing, supernatural calm we can hope for. There's rest in peace, theres trust in peace, and theres freedom in peace. Anxiety stands no chance in the true presence of God. That thought alone makes me want to give all that I have to follow and believe.

poetry reminds us of our pulse

2011-05-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

If you know me in real life (not just blog land) then you're well aware of my long standing relationship with poetry.

I read poetry every day. Not by discipline or even by effort, it's just what I enjoy and notice myself doing.

There's an art to getting words on a page to convey not only meaning, but feeling and it's true beauty when it's done well.

No matter what you're going through in life there is a poem or writing somewhere out there that will comfort you in your space, settle into your heart and churn your mind. Poetry is such a gift to humanity.

Little max hangin with auntie e

2011-05-15T16:39:00.001-07:00

My sweet friends Nicole and Wil were in town this weekend with their handsome little 1 year old boy Maxwell.

Wil is at NYU/ Bellevue doing his residency and Cole is a part time pastor at a church out there. Little max has been a traveling man as they've been on vacay the last week traveling all around the west coast. Nicole was officiating a wedding out in Los Gatos at the Opera House Sunday night. I went as Max's date and had an amazing time... What a beautiful venue and the color scheme was stunning. I wish I took a few shots of it, I really do love Los Gatos I always feel like I'm on vacay when I am out there. Cole did great leading the ceremony and had some sweet words to share about the meaning of love and marriage.

When I got home from the wedding all I could feel was gratitude welling up in my heart. Gratitude for such sweet friendships in my life... thankful for infant hugs, noises and smiles... and a deep deep appreciation for the never ending love of Christ in my life.

I love you Cole and Wil and little Max! See you on skype soon :)

the rain falls on the just and the unjust

2011-05-14T22:18:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here tonight with my front door wide open listening to the rain and typing along on my mac. Click clack of the keyboard keys and pitter patter of rainfall. . . I kind of feel like Sarah Jessica Parker from sex in the city... in a reflective moment.

There's something so majestic and natural about rain fall. It makes me want to go for a long run (which I actually might do at 10:30pm at night)... and it makes me want to read poetry. Two totally different things but there's a spirit in the rain that refreshes my heart and my mind. Something that brings energy to my bones and makes me want to run around like a wild child.

This week has felt tough, one of the hardest of my life. But I'm happy to report that I'm still standing and God is still good. Two things I'm incredibly grateful for. The sound of the rain is refreshing and reminds me that someone else is in control and that Power is not only in control of my life but the solar systems and the sun and the moon and the stars and every single heartbeat that I have. He allows rain to fall on us all, regardless of circumstance or character. He also blesses us all regardless of our flaws or accomplishments. Grace truly does fall on us all like rain.

There is a deep beauty in the rain that reminds me I'm not alone in this life and that God is at work on this earth in ways I can't even comprehend.

Thankful.

New Company!

2011-05-08T18:02:00.000-07:00

Excited to announce the launch of Garcia Marketing Communications and Erica Garcia Photography. I've always dreamed of opening my own business and I finally did it and get this... I have a bunch of clients!!? How that happened I have no idea, but I love what I do and that I get to share it with others.

Flying High

2011-04-26T22:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was walking home from the grocery store... (I love where I live because I can walk everywhere). I was thinking about birds. They fly everywhere... weightless and free...

I was thinking about how birds fly and feel like they have control in which direction they fly... where they are headed... but then I thought about the wind. The wind is the invisible controller. The force that can keep the bird from moving or flying fast.

We fly where we want. I fly where I want. Or where I think I want... but the wind will determine if I move.

I'm thankful for the power of the wind.

He Has Risen!

2011-04-24T13:34:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter :)

Doggie Photo Shoot

2011-04-23T20:11:00.000-07:00

Caitlin got a new pup. Little Pearl is 11 weeks old and I couldn't resist the urge to capture her cuteness on camera. Cait suggested we go to Google (where she works) for the shoot. It was the perfect location since Pearl is quite familiar with it... she goes there everyday with Cait. What a precious puppy and a proud mama! Love it!

more pics here: http://gallery.me.com/ericagarcia#100570

I Heart San Francisco

2011-04-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

Had an amazing day in the city today. I love the sights and sounds of San Francisco. The diversity, the crazy noise. I love everything about it. The energy of the city makes me smile.

Quiet

2011-04-15T13:37:00.000-07:00

Theres a stillness about me today. It's nice.

I've been alone for the last two hours in an empty house (Kylee is taking a long nap today). And I initially turned on the tv then quickly turned it off. I felt the need to be still. To turn off all the noise and simply "be."

I feel so refreshed and so filled. I feel thankful and hopeful about what is happening in my life. I feel loved and cared for ... and for that I'm grateful. It's crazy how once the noise is gone we can clearly see Truth and grace and love.

My soul is quiet.

She who perseveres wins the race

2011-04-14T13:41:00.000-07:00

My mom called me recently. She asked how I was, I said I was "okay" and she could tell from the tone of my voice that I was struggling in some way.

She says, "Honey, you're a fighter. Some people face struggles in life and they give up - they lay down and die. You fight. You persevere. That's how I raised you, and that's who you are. You are stronger than you think. Now pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on going. I'm excited for your future."

Wow. It's wild how often times my mom is so right. It can actually be annoying at times. She knows me so well and speaks words that would sound harsh coming from anyone else, but from her they sound true, and strong and gracious.

I'm thankful for her.

God Bless Kylee Ann

2011-04-12T13:19:00.000-07:00

Kylee Ann was baptized this past weekend and we were eager to shower her with love before and after the big event. Highlights were when Kylee hit the priest as he put his hands on her head to bless her... and she peed all over her mom during the ceremony. Oh my. She has quite the personality - and I just love it!

I'm so excited to be a part of her faith journey as she grows through life, has questions, and makes her own decisions. It's sweet to think of hanging out with her when she's a teenager and a young adult considering what kind of life she wants to live and what she believes in terms of God. I'm excited to be present for those moments with her.

Little lady K you are LOVED! By God and by all of us. . .

And of course this was reason enough for the Giraudos and Garcias to throw a big party :) Must have been 60-70 people at the house to celebrate my niece. Love it.

Trust

2011-04-01T18:52:00.000-07:00

I was talking with a friend last week who is struggling to trust her boyfriend. It brought up many memories from my past of times I've trusted and been hurt, times when I've hoped and been let down... as well as times that I have trusted and been so happy I did.

Right now I have a handful of things I'm trusting God for. There are hopes and new relationships coming into my life, there are new career aspriations that feel fresh and exciting, there are dreams deep within I've been cultivating for years. I'm in a hopeful season but it still feels so hard to trust. I'm not sure that it will ever be easy but I'm determined to grow in trust. Trust for loved ones, trust for strangers and trust in the God who holds me up when I fall apart.

Trust feels like the most risky path to choose but I'm still convinced it's the right way to live.

Spring Has Sprung :)

2011-03-31T14:47:00.000-07:00

She's 10 months!

2011-03-29T21:25:00.000-07:00

On Friday my sweet little niece Kylee will be 10 months old. She blesses me every day. Her laugh melts my heart, the way she recognizes me from across the room is the most rewarding thing ever. Seeing her crawl and show determination to try new things reminds me to push myself to become a better person... I just love who she is.

Here are a few shots I snapped tonight while hanging out at her house after work.

A New Beginning

2011-03-27T23:15:00.000-07:00

This month has been one of newness, a fresh outlook on the world, a real sense of a clean slate.

I've been so struck with an incredible awareness of the amazing blessings in my life.

It's wild.

I'll have moments where my heart skips a beat and I'm aware of the simplest thing... and have such a deep gratitude in my soul for it.

Tonight my heart is full. It's is overflowing with goodness and thankfulness, excitement and joy. I'm ready for all that lies ahead. I'm so ready.

More than we could ask or imagine

2011-03-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

Wow. Today I was reminded of a simple truth.

Even when we think we are living to our full potential it is still possible it to be taken to an entirely higher level.

There are areas of my life where I had thought over the years that I had it good, and I did. I enjoyed my job, significant relationships, my home. . . Over the last month I have seen my perception of the "goodness" of life be redefined.

Recently I've gone through a really rough time in my life, maybe the toughest yet. . . but in the last few weeks I've watched as my perception of good has changed. The things I thought were good have gotten even better. I'm so glad He enabled me to step out in faith and take a step forward in ways I never thought possible.

I wanted "good" but apparently God wanted "better".

Life is in the fabric

2011-03-23T23:42:00.000-07:00

So today I had a thought...

I thought about a quilt... the many colors and fabrics... the time it takes to make... all those details... and it occurred to me just how many pieces of thread it takes to hold a quilt together...

If my life is a quilt then the experiences are the thread.

Our lives may look one way from the outside but theres an inner working that takes place, a depth and an adhesive... an unseen weaving together of our life experiences which come together to form a life view... with which we see the world.

Life is about more than just accomplishments. It's about the journey, the depth, the lessons along the way. I'm glad I get to soak it all up as I go and am never expected to be perfect.

Quilts are never perfect. Always uniquely shaped as they are made.

Gracious and strong, elegant and randomly patched.

I sat in a court room today...

2011-03-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

and witnessed a mother grieve her son's life and another mother storm out of the room while her son, Taylor Buckley was sitting there in an orange jumpsuit, listening to others tell him what his actions had meant to them...

Wow. What a day. Today Anthony Giraudo would have been alive and well, in his early 20's.... but he was killed at the age of 18. He was supposed to be Kylee's uncle. Except that he isn't alive, he isn't here. She never gets to meet him because he was killed at a giants game on May 9, 2008.And I sat in a court room today listening to Taylor Buckley's niece cry about her uncle going to jail... when Kylee never gets to meet hers...

Taylor Buckley suckerpunched Anthony Giraudo outside of At&t park. Anthony was sticking up for a female friend who was being harassed and Buckely hit him in the head, from the back. Anthony fell to the ground and later died at the hospital. Once Buckely hit Anthony, Buckely cheered, then took off his sweatshirt, threw it in the garbage and ran away, all while Anthony laid there... dying...

Today I was in a San Francisco court room... watching as Anthony's family and friends spoke about who Anthony was, and the positive impact he made on the world, and the way his death has changed lives forever - for his family and friends. Today I listened to a father speak to the murderer of his youngest son, I heard him say that he still waits to see Anthony walking in the door from baseball practice. He still remembers the hugs and kisses at the end of the day, and waits for them. I saw a mother grieve her dead son. I saw her speak to a courtroom full of people... she spoke to the murderer directly saying that she knows he "didn't mean to do it" but that "he still meant to inflict harm and that is not okay." The Giraudo family communicated a strong message today: "Take the higher road in life, do not harm others, walk away from a potential fight."

We all know that while Anthony doesn't have the chance at a second start, Taylor Buckley does. When he's out of jail I hope that he gives back to this community, that he can acknowledge what he did and be remorseful. I hope that he can help counsel others who may commit a similar crime... help them and show them that hurting others doesn't make it better. I hope he has a powerful story one day, a story of transformation and grace.

I still have my brother alive on this earth, to comfort me when things are hard, to share life with, to process life with. Alyssa has lost one of hers. All due to an act of cowardice and violence. That's not okay.

News coverage here.

photo above: Anthony and his mom dancing.

From Summer with Monika by Roger McGough

2011-03-20T21:51:00.000-07:00

away from you
i feel a great emptiness
a gnawing loneliness

with you
i get that reassuring feeling
of wanting to escape

Thankful

2011-03-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

Families are the compass that guide us.

They are the inspiration to reach great heights,

and our comfort when we occasionally falter.

-Brad Henry

I've been thinking a lot about the concept of family.

My family is wild, they are compassionate, they fiercely protect their own. They welcome anyone who can take a joke and dish it back...anyone who enjoys a social gathering and a strong drink, anyone who gives back to others and lives with honesty and integrity. They open their homes to people in need. They trust others until they have a reason not to. They see the good in people and give the benefit of the doubt.

We hold each other up when one falls and we celebrate victories and accomplishments. It's such a great feeling to know I always have a team who has my back. No matter what.

It's wild to think about how much our family shapes us. So much of who I am is a result of my upbringing. I'm thankful I'm a part of such a tight knit team - a team who gives to others and makes a difference in this crazy world.

Fire in Water

2011-03-12T15:30:00.000-08:00

I have been told,

"The sun on deep waves is beautiful."

And have dreamed on those words.

I will dive down to the edge of darkness,

to see where fire is drowned

in understanding.

-Fiona Davidson

Sometimes We Have No Words...

2011-03-10T01:48:00.000-08:00

It's true. Sometimes in life there are not words to describe how you feel inside. Sometimes things hurt so deeply that there are no words, other times the joy is so moving that you can't express it. Life is full of highs and lows... yet I think the secret of life is learning to be content and stable no matter what your circumstances are. This is an art.

I'm excited to learn it.

What matters

2011-03-03T01:19:00.000-08:00

Ah I had the hardest day ever today... I felt like I was crumbling more and more as the hours went by. So I went to see my niece. She smiled at me and threw her arms around me and hugged me and I felt like all was well in the world. It's amazing how being an Auntie can be so rewarding. It's actually ridiculous, how much I love that little girl. She squeals and I squeal back... she smiles and I sneak a smile at her... she is tired and I rock her... it's just amazing how much I love her. I can't imagine how much I will love my own someday. But what I do know is that this little girl will always forever be close to my heart and very present in my life. She's so healing to be around. Bad days turn bright and dark nights are filled with joy and innocence.

Keeping Score

2011-03-02T06:05:00.000-08:00

About a week ago my co-workers and I were waiting for a meeting to start and we stumbled upon the topic of marriage. A co-worker mentioned that he's been married twice and that the secret to a great marriage is not keeping score. I asked him what he meant and he said:

With my first wife we each kept score, you know when you remember what has been said or done and hold it against them, bring it up all the time and base your decision out of it, the slate is never clean. I've realized recently that when I started to love my second wife I stopped keeping score. We both mess up, go through hard seasons, but I'm able to let go and forgive and she does the same with me. I don't necessarily forget the past but I don't hold it again her and I know she's not holding it against me. There are no tally marks. My love for her is not motivated by a feeling of debt or obligation, I simply want to give her love for the sake of giving it. I had to learn to let some things go. It's not about winning or losing, being perfect or messing up, it's about knowing we are there for each other no matter what and knowing that she'll love me even when I'm in a rough place.

His words stuck with me.

There's an art to true love. For deep relationships to last it's crucial we let go of the score and extend grace even when we feel it's impossible.

I so want to win. Everytime. But love isn't a game. It's not about numbers or measurements or making up for past mistakes. It's about living in the moment and being present with each other through the chaos of life. It's about feeling safe enough to show intense emotion and allow others to show intense emotion and know that at the end of the day it's going to be okay because you have each other.

I know a married couple who have a rule... that when they are in the midst of a fight they have to touch - even just holding hands counts. Something deep happens when they touch... they are reminded of their love and comitement and their spirits soften. To me this is a demonstration of not keeping score - that at the end of the day we see that what matters most isn't winning, it's sticking with it - being present and learning as you go. Perfection is impossible, but grace is possible.

In my friendships, in my family relationships, I'm learning to let go of my pride and give to others in ways I wouldn't normally give. I'm learning to meet people where they are at, in places I wouldn't normally go... because it's good for me to learn what true raw love looks like. It's not a fairy tale, it's not some glamorous thing. Real love is hard and takes work, but it's changing me and I see the world a bit differently.

Happy 9 Months Baby!

2011-03-01T16:49:00.001-08:00

Little girl you have changed my life. I'm a better person because of you. xo Auntie e.

Professional images by Julie Hughes, amateur photos by Erica Garcia

broken bones, broken hearts

2011-02-28T21:08:00.000-08:00

I was watching Sex in the City this evening and Sarah Jessica Parker said these words:

When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometime you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

I so identify with these words. I feel like I'm in a defining season where fun is hard and leaps feel scary. Jumping used to come naturally. Freedom was something I felt often. And then I grew up. Somewhere in that process life began to wear me down a bit and anxiety and fear set in.

As I near the end of my 20s I feel a heaviness.... a desire to learn more of who I truly am and where I'm truly going... I almost feel like I'm in the midst of a quarter life crisis. I feel like I've wasted the last few years of my life, because somewhere along the way I lost myself.

I'm ready to rediscover who I am, what I love and what I hate... I'm ready to remember why I love myself. I'm ready to be whole and find freedom and joy. I'm ready for a new start. I'm ready to stop being so cautious and start allowing myself to love well and dream big.

Bones and hearts will break... that's just how life goes. Broken bones and hearts show that you're living life well and giving yourself fully to the "experience" - whatever it may be. I want to stop looking for the safety net before I take a risk. Following my heart is worth the risk because life is meant to be full... full of love and beauty and simple joys.

Carmel Goodness

2011-02-27T12:21:00.000-08:00

We spent the weekend in Carmel and I was of course seeing everything in "images"... can't live without my camera :) Enjoy!

Passion

2011-02-20T18:32:00.000-08:00

Christy Nockels is by far my favorite worship leader. When she sings my soul is moved. Her voice, her lyrics, her sweet praise to a Great God does something deep in me. She has two new songs out on the newest Passion cd. I've been listening to them on repeat (along with some of her other oldie but goodies)... If you're looking for some powerful church music search her on itunes and buy these two songs: Carry Your Name and Waiting Here For You. If you like those then download her version of None But Jesus, and Hosanna. Then get her watermark cds, A Grateful People and The Purest Place. It's my mellow, happy music. Enjoy!

And the Bird Hears It All

2011-02-15T01:40:00.000-08:00

This week my grandma and I talked about life and health and love. We talked about how she was watching people around here get close to death. She shared concerns for her own mortality. I reassured her that I needed her to stay here for a bit longer and that is why shes still on earth. She looked me deep in the eyes, grabbed my hand tight and said, yes I’m still here.

She also talked about stories of when she married my grandpa (at the court house) and dealing with his long absences when at war. She paused her story to look me in the eye and said “you know Erica, I still have every letter he ever wrote me.” It brought a tear to my eye. Such a sweet love. They were married for 57 years before my grandpa passed in 2004.

We talked about my dating life and I asked her for advice in choosing the right kind of guy to marry... she had many words on this subject but mostly she just listened to me pour out my heart and try to make sense of it all. She reassured me that though it feels so messy and complicated right now that God would take it and make it beautiful and all we have to do is trust him... with it all.

I was encouraged. I love her more than life. I treasure every Sunday afternoon I get to spend with her.

A Life Well Lived

2011-02-09T01:22:00.000-08:00

I’ve been noticing lately the different between living and living well. There are moments that bring a lack of breath, a stillness that cannot compete with the extreme activity of a fast paced world. There are universal truths that touch our hearts and those are what I’ve been dwelling on lately.

Moments That Matter

2010-12-30T18:00:00.000-08:00

Right now I'm at the hospital watching movies and chatting with my grandma, Vivienne... the most beautiful woman I know. She's resting up for her open heart surgery that's scheduled for tomorrow morning. Thank you all who have been praying for her. Please keep the warm thoughts and prayers coming!

Drug of Choice

2010-11-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

Yes. I'm an event planning addict. I live for the high of the "unknown" the ideas of "what could go wrong" and the satisfaction of problem solving and making it right... all in a matter of minutes. I've been creating events since I was 5 - just so I could coordinate details and infuse my creative energy into a space, a design, a hospitality experience. This is why my birthday is a multi-party event each year, friends wedding become a playground for me and I die if it's not captured on film.

Last night I did a big event at work. I was so anxious about it I didn't sleep the night before. I ran around all day like a crazy woman ensuring the success of the event and things kept going wrong... one after another... I was craving a strong cocktail at 2pm... that's what kind of day it was.

But beauty came from the chaos, and that my friends is the "high of the event"... when you're sitting there watching people enjoy a space you created, a group of attendees that matter, relationships being formed, laughter and smiles. A moment of complete satisfaction washed over me as I sat at the table toward the end of the event, thinking "God I love this stuff."

Feedback from my team was positive, but my family and friends that got the SOS texts all day long know that I was fearing the worst. Yet somehow it all worked out and I'm up and at em the next day... craving a new event to plan.

Kylee Luv

2010-11-10T16:53:00.000-08:00

It's Christmas Time!

2010-11-08T16:54:00.000-08:00

The Marketing department has declared that it's the season for twinkle lights! Lyns and I put these up in our cubes today. Anyone who protests will get a Grinch picture on their desk tomorrow.

Sweet girl

2010-11-08T15:43:00.003-08:00

Sent from my iPhone